1. Be nice to everyone, especially people wearing hospital bracelets.
2. Don’t ask white girls if they “left their ass at home.”
3. If you have to bring your baby to a movie, make sure he laughs at appropriate times.
4. Don’t eat Cheetos and then sit down at a fancy hotel piano.
5. If you are in Central Park and think you are getting mugged, first check to see if maybe you’re just part of a student film.
6. If you see Oprah at a fancy function, don’t grab her wrist and ask for money. Quietly sneak up behind her and whisper, “You give me that money, Oprah. You hear me?”
7. When walking on a New York street, try not to spit, litter, bleed, or take a crap.
8. If you need to do any of these things, try to do it between two parked cars.
Vampire Weekend singer defends the youth against accusations of Instagram narcissism
Koenig is firmly in favor of selfies. “I’m definitely pro-selfie,” he says. “I think that anybody who’s anti-selfie is really just a hater. Because, truthfully, why shouldn’t people take pictures of themselves? When I’m on Instagram and I see that somebody took a picture of themselves, I’m like, ‘Thank you.’ I don’t need to see a picture of the sky, the trees, plants. There’s only one you.”
Adds Koenig, “I could Google image search ‘the sky’ and I would probably see beautiful images to knock my socks off. But I can’t Google, you know, ‘What does my friend look like today?’ For you to be able to take a picture of yourself that you feel good enough about to share with the world – I think that’s a great thing.”
The singer is scornful of those who see selfie-snapping as a sign of narcissism. “There’s all this bullshit about ‘the younger kids today are more self-absorbed,’” he says. “It’s like, give me a fucking break! I’ve been in nursing homes, where my grandma is. I’ve seen some of the most selfish people on the planet in there… And the world that these kids are born into literally could not get more selfish. The world is so fucked-up and unequal and full of assholes. You can’t blame it on the younger generation.”
I am a millenial. Generation Y. Born between the birth of AIDS and 9/11. Give or take. They call us the global generation. We are known for our entitlement and narcissism. Some say it’s because we’re the first generation where every kid gets a trophy for just growing up. Others thinks it’s because social media allows us to post every time we fart or have a sandwich for all the world to see. But it seems our one defining trait is a numbness to the world. An indifference to suffering.
The Muppet Most Wanted trailer
The troupe will perform on stage at the O2 Arena in London on July 1, 2014. It will contain some of their greatest hits “with a modern, topical, Pythonesque twist.” Idle will direct the show, which will include some new material. The audience can expect “comedy, pathos, music and a tiny piece of ancient sex,” Idle said.
Tickets will go on sale on Nov. 25. More information is available at montypythonlive.com.
“Procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth. You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything… Because it is rewarding on the short term, procrastination eventually takes on the form of an addiction to the temporary relief from these deep-rooted fears. Procrastinators get an extremely gratifying “hit” whenever they decide to let themselves off the hook for the rest of the day, only to wake up to a more tightly squeezed day with even less confidence. Once a pattern of procrastination is established, it can be perpetuated for reasons other than the fear of failure. For example, if you know you have a track record of taking weeks to finally do something that might only take two hours if you weren’t averse to it, you begin to see every non-simple task as a potentially endless struggle. So a modest list of 10-12 medium-complexity to-do’s might represent to you an insurmountable amount of work, so it feels hopeless just to start one little part of one task. This hones a hair-trigger overwhelm response, and life gets really difficult really easily.”
Actress Rashida Jones is old friends with Danielle and Jodie Snyder, the sisters behind New York-based jewelry label Dannijo. And when you’re pals with someone famous, why not make it into something more? Like, oh, maybe gold?
Just in time for the holidays, the trio has collaborated on a capsule jewelry collection, called Fine by Dannijones (get it?), of delicate 10- and 14-carat gold pieces. “The concept was to make jewelry that you would never have to take off,” explains Rashida, who cuddles in bed with Danielle and Jodie in the collection’s promo video. The range includes gold bracelets, necklaces, earrings, and rings that feature tiny charms like pineapples (“meant to radiate the calm energy that lingers after a tropical vacation”), arrows, palm trees, and unicorns (“a reminder to approach life with a childlike curiosity and optimism”).
The collection will be available starting Monday, November 18.